ANDREW STRAUSS was out first ball at The Wanderers this morning as the fourth and final Test between England and South Africa got underway amid incredible scenes.

The captain was soon followed by Jonathan Trott, Kevin Pietersen and Alastair Cook as England found themselves 39-4 after 9.4 overs with Paul Collingwood and Ian Bell required to produce their now-traditional rearguard action within 45 minutes of the start on the opening morning.

South Africa’s opening pair, Morne Morkel (6-1-20-3) and the world’s top ranked Test bowler Dale Steyn (6-0-26-1) were almost unplayable in their opening barrage.

Fortunately, they were replaced by two debutants – Ryan McLaren and Wayne Parnell – and the resilient Collingwood (44) and Bell (19) began the business of resurrecting England’s innings, going to lunch at 100-4, having added 61 for the fifth wicket.

Thank God for Colly (my old netting partner, see picture) is the cry. The hero of Cardiff, Centurion and Newlands, the man described by coach Andy Flower as “Our typical British Bulldog” is carrying four separate injuries. But he celebrated the end of the first session by slapping Jacques Kallis for six over square leg. Some guy.

But what a opening spell we had. An assault on the senses shared by a crowd of around 8,000 as the press box, packed with former Test stars, went into meltdown.

Steyn got things underway after Strauss – near-perfect with the coin on in this series - had done his usual thing and won the toss. The England captain’s decision to bat is something he will have to live with for the rest of his career.

There was a hushed silence for the opening ball of a Test England only have to draw to clinch the series. Then Strauss turned that first delivery of the day straight into what the stadium commentator instantly described as “the magic hands of Hashim Amla” at short leg. Great catch. Uproar.

England’s stunned Barmy Army, who had their traditional chorus of Jerusalem drowned out by the sound system at the “Bull Ring”, were immediately silenced. Strauss had become the 28^th person dismissed on the first ball of a Test, a fate which befell the great Sunil Gavaskar three times. Last time this happened to England? Stan Worthington in Brisbane against the Australians. You won’t remember Stan. He did that back in 1936.

Ball two from Steyn flew inches wide of Jonathan Trott’s off-stump and reports of a bowlers’ paradise had been confirmed in a matter of seconds.

Groundsman Steve Scott was told to prepare a result wicket by South Africa coach Mickey Stewart, whose side need to win here to square the series at 1-1 and retain the Basil D’Oliviera trophy. It worked like a charm, but only because Strauss chose to bat. And he knew all about the South African scheming.

The first over ended with England 3-1, nerves still jangling. Back in 1999, when the Wanderers hosted the first Test between these two sides, the carnage went on all day as England were skittled for 122 and went on to lose by an innings and 21 runs. Yesterday, out on the balcony overlooking this huge arena, I talked to then-captain Nasser Hussain about that epic morning a decade ago. Surely Straussie would have been told about it? Surely he must have known what it can be like here on the first morning?

Morkel’s first over from the other end was equally worrying. His third ball was edged by Trott for four. His second beat the bat completely. The sixth did for him, plumb LBW, England 7-2. Trott, who had swung at everything he could see, almost walked. A bizarre five-run, eight-ball innings of swishes and hopeful prods. What was he thinking?

Pietersen emerged to a reasonable reception given he spent his formative years in South Africa - and he appeared to have settled, hitting the first genuine four of the morning off Morkel as he settled in with Alastair Cook at the other end.

But three balls later, on seven runs from 16 balls, he did what he has been doing all tour. Made a rash decision just as he was beginning to look good. He went for the big pull, didn’t quite make it and Wayne Parnell took a sharp catch at mid-on. England were 32-3. It was all so fast, the poor bloke, making his debut, even thought about a shy at the stumps after taking the catch.

Cook, somehow keeping his sanity at the other end as three South Africa-born English batsmen perished, was next, Morkel’s third victim. His LBW decision went for review and though it looked like a no-ball, the decision stood. England coach Andy Flower went to the match referee to complain, but by then it was too late. Far too late. Cook was gone for 21 off 31 balls and England were past shock and into intensive care at 39-4.

Collingwood and Bell survived the last of the Steyn-Morkel onslaught and they relaxed visibly when two debutants – Ryan McLaren and Wayne Parnell – were handed their first overs in Test cricket. But already this entire 20-day Test series has swung South Africa’s way.

Thing is, Arthur finally has his dream attack here. Right from the start of the series, there was a feeling Makhaya Ntini was past it, but they had to pick him for Centurion and Durban, where he won his 100^th and 101^st caps but took just two wickets for plenty.

Friedel De Wet, the Johannesburg-based paceman who replace him in Cape Town, is 29 and apparently the choice of head of selectors Mike Procter. He did his back in after just five overs at Newlands.

So here, by default, Arthur has Steyn and Morkel on top form plus Parnell – described by Kent team-mate Robert Key as “the new Wasim Akram” – making his debut in place of De Wet and all-rounders McLaren and fit-again Jacques Kallis.

It’s some attack that. And if they want a spinner, they can always turn to JP Duminy, who turns it more than their specialist spinner Paul Harris, axed for McLaren this morning.

England are in trouble here – and they must survive without their best batsman. Yes, Graham Onions, the world’s greatest No11, is out. The legend is no more. Replaced by Ryan Sidebottom, who can swing it a bit. He’ll have to swing it a lot to turn this one around.

Labels: andrew strauss, basil d'oliveira trophy, dale steyn, England in Johannesburg, england in south africa, fourth test decider, jonathan trott, morne morkel, result wicket, the wanderers

JONATHAN TROTT, fast gaining a reputation as the slowest batsman in Test cricket, added just a single before he shuffled off cricket's mortal coil on the third morning of the second Test in Durban today.

Labels: ab de villiers, frustration, graeme smith, graeme swann, jonathan trott, morne morkel, slow

ENGLAND arrived at their luxurious new base at the Oyster Box Hotel in Umhlanga Rocks ready to make waves in a buoyant dressing room by axing Ian Bell for seamer Ryan Sidebottom.

As the Indian Ocean crashes onto the beach outside in surf sometimes six feet high, the tide of opinion seems to be running firmly against their No6 batsman Bell as the Boxing Day Test 10 miles along the coast at Kingsmead in Durban looms on Saturday.

England held on for a riveting draw in Centurion with Bell shouldering arms to a straight on in the first innings on five and providing little in the way of resistance in the crucial second knock (2 off 17 balls).

Former England paceman Bob Willis said: "I think Bell’s Test career is in danger. The problem with Ian is, he has now played 50 Test matches and he's still not a permanent fixture in that England side.

"He's very quickly going into the sort of Mark Ramprakash column as a guy with all the talent but not the temperament for the big time. I think there's a big question mark against him."

And with Graeme Swann top-scoring with 85 in Centurion at No9 in the order, Sky commentator Willis prefers the five-bowler option, which many argued should have been used at Centurion, where Bell was preferred to Ryan Sidebottom, who took five wickets in the final pre-Test warm-up in East London. He said: "I think the selectors will think they'll need another bowler at Durban. It's very, very humid down there this time of year - and the bowlers looked exhausted at times at Centurion. I do think England will go down the five-bowler route.

“But six batsmen, including Matt Prior, should be able to score enough runs because Stuart Broad and Swann are getting runs down the order and we've seen Jimmy Anderson and Graham Onions are no rabbits with the bat now and Ryan Sidebottom has played some really important Test innings as well.

"We really do need to go with an extra bowler and I think they will make a change. I think they will bring somebody in for Bell. They may experiment with all-rounder Luke Wright; he's obviously a better batsman that Sidebottom but he's pretty unreliable as a bowler and you'd expect him to go for four runs an over.

"They may well go that way to bolster the batting, but my own choice would be to go for Sidebottom."

England will be cheered by the fact South African captain Graeme Smith – who said after the draw “I was a bit surprised with the fist-pumping and stuff like that from England, maybe it was a bit much” – has fallen out of the world’s top 10 batsmen for the first time in 16 months. He managed a duck and 12 in Centurion. Smith is now 11th, but has been replaced by Centurion centurion Jacques Kallis in the top ten. England’s highest ranked batsman is Kevin Pietersen, whose 81 on Sunday moved him up to 13th.

Collingwood is 29th, Jonathan Trott, with just two Tests under his belt, is 49th. In the bowling rankings, Nottinghamshire pair Graeme Swann (11th) and Stuart Broad (13th) feature in their best ever positions for England with Lancashire’s James Anderson slotting in at 12. South Africa’s injured Dale Steyn still heads the list of the world’s top bowlers and but may not be fit for Kingsmead on Saturday.

Steyn said: "I've got until Wednesday to get my hamstring ready. I think we will make an early decision this time on whether I will play, rather than wait until the morning of the game. That puts other players under stress and basically throws the guys into the ocean.

"I'm hopeful. I was very keen to play at Centurion and having a few more days off has given me extra time to get it right, so I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be ready for Boxing Day.

"I just want to make sure it's 100 percent because we have a lot of cricket to play, not just against England but also a tour to India, and hamstrings can be quite a difficult area to sort out. Just when you think you've got it right, it hits you again and slows you down. We are hoping that everything will be right for Durban, that's the goal, and we've been working really hard on it.."

Labels: boxing day test, centurion, dale steyn, durban, england in south africa, exciting draw, Ian bell, jonathan trott, ryan sidebottom

JONATHAN TROTT, the Cape Town-raised Englishman who proved to be such a thorn in South Africa’s side in the tumultuous first Test in Centurion, heads into the Boxing Day Test at soggy Durban insisting: “I will give it my all.”

Trott, who batted a marathon 212 balls and over five hours (316 minutes with five boundaries), scoring a defiant 61 to help guide England to a draw – by a single wicket – insists he relished the experience of playing under the baking sun for five days against the nation of his birth.

And he is all geared up for the post-Christmas showdown at Kingsmead, where he will get little sympathy from the partisan locals who inhabit the notorious Castle Corner.

Trott, red-faced from the blazing sun after his first overseas Test, said: "You always wonder what it will feel like if one day you have the opportunity to play a Test match back in South Africa – I enjoyed the whole experience and look forward to a few more, I hope."

Trott and Pietermaritzburg-reared Kevin Pietersen produced a 145-run partnership for the fourth wicket which held South Africa at bay for xxx hours – and both came under fire from South Africa captain Graeme Smith.

Smith felt Trott takes too long to prepare for each ball when he is settling down to repel the opposition. Smith ranted: “It’s frustrating. I take a while to prepare myself but when he’s stopping the bowler in mid-run-up all the time, something has to be done. He’s been warned in the one-dayers and he’s been warned in this Test.”

But Warwickshire warrior Trott, 28, appears undaunted by Smith’s trenchant criticism. He says, which a distinct South African burr: "I’ve never had complaints before and I won't be trying to do anything different."

It was only when Trott departed – the first victim of 29-year-old debutant Friedel de Wet in a devastating new ball spell of 3-11 off seven overs – that England began to look shakey, losing Ian Bell, Matt Prior, Stuart Broad and Graeme Swann in an alarming last hour collapse. No11 Graham “Bunions” Onions and the ever-reliable Paul Collingwood were left to see off the South Africans in a tense finish on Sunday night.

Trott shrugged off his endless crease scratching and pitch flattening, insisting: "It's one of those things I do to get myself prepared and make sure I'm in the right frame of mind to help contribute to the England side.

"I don't play cricket to get under people's skin - I play cricket to be effective. I have my things I do to get myself ready for battle.

"Maybe it can mess with their over rate or whatever, but it's just what I do - and I won't be changing it.

"It's what's got me to this position to be able to play for England - and it's an exciting time."

Though the Durban showdown is likely to be hit by rain – the local weather forecasters are saying there is a 60 percent chance of daily interruptions in the tropical port city – Trott says the mood in the camp is strong as they settle in at their plush hotel in Umhlanga, 10 miles north of Durban, where the Indian Ocean’s crashing waves draw the surfing fraternity.

He said: "It was a great effort by the guys to pull through and for Paul and Bunions to get us out of a spot of bother and keep the series level at 0-0. The team showed good spirit and guts to get through it."

Labels: centurion, durban, england tour, graeme smith, jonathan trott, kingsmead, second Test, South Africa cricket, south african world cup draw

STRANGE isn’t it? Two men playing against the country of their birth are so determined to resist in front of their former compatriots. And the two Englishmen we saw early today, James Anderson and Alastair Cook, produced a couple of airy-fairy shots to go and sit comfortably in the shade of the dressing-room while the heat is on.

At tea Jonathan Trott (53 off 148 balls) and Kevin Pietersen (80 off 136) had pushed England from 27-3 to 169-3, an unbroken partnership of 142. Safety looms, though Pietersen ran himself out for 81 an over after the second interval and Trott was brilliantly caught by, one-handed by AB De Villiers at first slip off Friedel De Wet for 61 - and went of nursing a bruised thumb from a superb, rising delivery, the 212th Trott received.

That leaves two lilly-white Englishmen, Paul Collingwood and Ian Bell, who left a straight one in the first innings, to see out the last 13 overs of the fifth day to ensure a drawn first Test with the score 209-5.

But what British stiff-upper-lip Trott and Pietersen displayed! What true English blitz spirit! And of course, they're both South African reared.

Nightwatchman Anderson, judging by his twitter this morning, was more intent on getting back to find a television by lunch-time. He said: “Huge day today. Wolves v Burnley 1.30pm.”

After Andrew Strauss’s departure last night, Anderson and Cook were out in the first hour with just 27 on the board, 336 still needed. All looked lost, a growing Sunday crowd were having their time in the sun. Then Cape Town-born Trott got his head down and was joined by Pietermaritzburg-born Kevin Pietersen and the resistance grew. And grew.

As I wandered around this magnificent ground, all grass banks, paddling pools and beer, the South Africans were getting remarkably uptight. About 10,000 of them have disturbed their traditional pre-Christmas Sunday braai (or barbecue) to witness England, the old enemy around these parts, crushed.

Instead they were forced to witness two of their own, batting proudly for queen and country, soaking up the pressure and pushing England towards a draw. In their charming double-storey executive boxes, which look like Victorian houses, and on their picnic blankets, I recognise the words from the bearded men as they see yet another appeal turned down. Bitter words. Angry phrases from a near-forgotten childhood.

It’s not hard to understand their discomfort. The Afrikaans curses shouted loudly across the ground are understandable. In short: Centurion, once known as Verwoerdburg, lies next to Pretoria, the heart of Afrikanerdom. They were never too keen on the “rooineks” (red necks) here. Not since we built a concentration camp in nearby Irene, about a mile away, during the Boer War 110 years ago and left the local populace in small-pox infected misery. Okay, it's ancient history to most, but the vast graveyard and memorial, next to Irene Primary School, is barely a six-hit away. It holds the graves of the 1,149 mostly women and children who died there.

So this is no fun for the folks gathered here, large people, large appetites, large opinions. And not all of them modern, democratic thinkers. Things have changed, the nation is rainbow-coloured, but the last thing they need is for two turncoats from the coastal regions to push this game beyond South Africa’s reach. I’m amazed they’ve been so gentle on this pair, considering.

The South Africans on the field are little happier. Even Jacques Kallis, supposedly not allowed to bowl because of the rib he fractured in October, demanded a go at this pair. And he got nowhere. At tea he had figures of 3-1-5-0. And the misery goes on for the locals.

Early on, things were unpleasant for England and their tiny Barmy Army after the first overnight rain of this sun-soaked Test. The ball was flying around, it was pleasantly cool for the fielding side. But Anderson, who gloved Friedel de Wet to Mark Boucher 13 balls into day five, produced an avoidable dismissal.

The gormless Cook followed soon afterwards, caught by South African captain Graeme Smith at gully off Paul Harris. What is the point of Cook? He's earmarked to captain the side in Bangladesh on their next tour but hasn't got to 50 since Lord's against the Australians. He looks good, sounds good... but he's no Test opener at the moment. He looked terrified coming out to bat last night.

The irrepressible Graeme Swann, whose five wickets and Test-best 85 carried his side through the first three days of this Test, twittered a more positive: “Three things I want to see today. Jimmy get a fifty, Cookie a hundred and the Toon smash the Smoggies.”

Only the last of those is now a realistic option. For our foreign readers the words “Toon smash the Smoggies” constitute a Geordie phrase roughly equivalent to “the once-great Newcastle beat never-great Middlesbrough in the second tier of English football which nobody cares about”.

Of far more importance to lovers of real football was Arsenal’s 3-0 win over those niggling, nasty men from the fires of Hull. It closes the gap on Manchester United – smashed by Fulham, 3-0 (yes, that's 3-0) – and extends the lead over Liverpool – beaten 2-0 by bottom club Portsmouth (yes, that's 2-0).

Which just leaves Chelsea to lose to West Ham today, just after this absorbing Test draws to a close this afternoon. And yes, it’s all true. Mark Hughes is gone despite yesterday’s goal-happy 4-3 win over Sunderland which left Manchester City handily placed in sixth. His replacement? Roberto Mancini. So that means City are are in trouble.

And is my precious book, A GAME APART. It was published two days ago. Sales have reached a feverish 14 in two days despite emails to all my mates, constant blogging and attempts to bring people into my web-site with pathetic twittering. My wife threatens to cut people's hair badly in her salon if they won't buy.

But it isn't working. Please help. Behind me, the Johannesburg Star's Kevin McCallum sold 40,000 copies of his sports trivia book. I need 39,986 of you to help. It's the book you must read before the World Cup. If you want. It's not expensive. My wife liked it. Just go to http://www.authorhouse.com/bookstore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=68412

Labels: england cricket tour, first test, friedel de wet, graeme swann, Ian bell, jimmy anderson, jonathan trott, kevin pietersen, master plan, neal collins south africa, Paul Collingwood

FORGET Centurion, think Rourke’s Drift as England face the ferocious South Africans with the sun beating down, missiles whistling past and backs firmly to the wall. Unusually though, three South Africans in English colours – Andrew, Strauss, Kevin Pietersen and Jonathan Trott – were charged with leading the resistance.

By lunch, Strauss and Trott were gone leaving Pietersen – on 27 including a welcome six off spinner Paul Harris – and true Brit Paul Collingwood (5 not out) to guide the tourists to 142-3. England put on just 55 in the 27 overs of the morning session, they are still a distant 275 behind. But at least a massacre had been averted.

The once-docile first Test pitch, which allowed the home side to plod along to 418, has given way to a snarling day-three monster which claimed captain Andrew Strauss just seven overs into the morning session, having added just two runs to his impressive overnight 44.

It was drinks all round (above, at 11am here!) as Makhaya Ntini, on his 100^th appearance, got one to zip through low beneath Strauss’s desperate defence to rattle the furniture. Sponsors Castle lager were offering a free beer to everyone in the ground when Ntini takes a wicket.

The Barmy Army were first in the queue, despite their chronic disappointment – and there may be more to come as this pitch refuses to behave in a civilised manner. In his second over Morne Morkel got on to fizz low and deviate off an indentation, leaving the cautious Trott befuddled.

And four balls before Strauss eventually fell, Ntini did likewise. He pitched one on a length, Strauss played forward, and the ball slid beneath his blade and almost brushed the stumps. Strauss shrugged, defeat in his eyes. We all knew what he was thinking. It’s hot, it’s nasty and we’re 300 runs behind. How am I supposed to survive this?

Ntini promptly struck with England on 98, having added a paltry eight off the seven overs bowled. Suddenly the ease with which Strauss and Trott added 63 in 17 overs last night was forgotten. And so where the scathing remarks from non-bowling all-rounder Jacques Kallis last night, who slammed his bowlers for their initial efforts.

Kallis had said the South Africans had a plan for Strauss, who dominated England’s last tour here five years ago. But he complained: “Our bowlers let us down, they didn’t stick to the plan.”

They didn’t need a plan today. Just bowl quick and straight, let the dry, hardening pitch with nasty indentations do the work. Local hero Allan Donald, the retired quickie, said as much at the end of day one when captain Graeme Smith and coach Mickey Arthur went out to have a squint at the track. Donald said: “They’re looking for indentations. This will get harder and faster and it may suit South Africa. It’s a bit of a road at the moment, but it could become a real test of character.”

As Strauss’s wicket broke, Ntini ran to sun-soaked fans, arms raised. His 389^th wicket puts him one closer to Shaun Pollock’s South African record of 421 Test victims. Not a bad morning for South Africa’s first black cricketer, who had already received a congratulatory letter from Nelson Mandela, the former President who brought peace to this nation and added colour to their sports teams in 1993.

Following Strauss’s abject departure, Pietermaritzburg-born Pietersen came out to join Cape Town-born Trott. The only non-South African on the field? Paul Harris, born in Salisbury, Rhodesia, now known as Harare, Zimbabwe.

Pietersen got a remarkably quiet welcome from the Centurion fans, who are no great lovers of the English and their adopted followers, who built a Boer Concentration Camp which devastated the local populace barely a stone-throw from this ground just over a century ago.

The lack of boos was probably down to the free-flowing booze being handed out to the gathering of about 5,000 basking beneath this harsh African sun in honour of Ntini’s success.

Trott and Pietersen did their best to handle the conditions, surviving the odd shooter but looking distinctly uncomfortable until the arrival of the very ordinary spinner Harris.

Then, after an unbelievably patient 117 balls, Trott made the mistake of thinking Harris could turn the ball. He charged down the pitch, took a huge heave allowing for spin... and the ball simply kept dead straight and caught the top of his leg stump. England were 119-3 and Trott – who scored just four in a partnership of 21 with KP lasting 13 dreadful overs - will spend many nights thinking about the wisdom of that shot.

While England freezes and closes transport systems in five inches of snow, the brand new money-eating Gautrain rail system being built for the World Cup next year is shimmering in the heat.

And England look like their steam-powered victory bid, never likely to arrive on time, could soon be derailed by Ntini, the 32-year-old Mdingi Express or Harris, the 31-year old slow train from Harare.

ORGET Centurion, this is Rourke’s Drift as England face the ferocious South African hordes with the sun beating down, missiles whistling past and backs firmly to the wall. Unusually though, two South Africans in English colours – Kevin Pietersen and Jonathan Trott – were sent out to lead the resistance.

The once-docile first Test pitch, which allowed the home side to plod along to 418, has given way to a snarling day-three monster which claimed captain Andrew Strauss just seven overs into the morning session, having added just two runs to his impressive overnight 44.

It was drinks all round as Makhaya Ntini, on his 100^th appearance, got one to zip through low beneath Strauss’s desperate defence to rattle the furniture. Sponsors Castle lager were offering a free beer to everyone in the ground when Ntini takes a wicket.

The Barmy Army were first in the queue, despite their chronic disappointment – and there may be more to come as this pitch refuses to behave in a civilised manner. In his second over Morne Morkel got on to fizz low and deviate off an indentation, leaving Jonathan Trott befuddled.

And four balls before Strauss eventually fell, Ntini did likewise. He pitched one on a length, Strauss played forward, and the ball slid beneath his blade and almost brushed the stumps. Strauss shrugged, defeat in his eyes. We all knew what he was thinking. It’s hot, it’s nasty and we’re 300 runs behind. How am I supposed to survive this?

Ntini promptly struck with England on 98, having added a paltry eight off the seven overs bowled. Suddenly the ease with which Strauss and Trott added 63 in 17 overs last night was forgotten. And so where the scathing remarks from non-bowling all-rounder Jacques Kallis last night, who slammed his bowlers for their initial efforts.

Kallis had said the South Africans had a plan for Strauss, who dominated England’s last tour here five years ago. But he complained: “Our bowlers let us down, they didn’t stick to the plan.”

They didn’t need a plan today. Just bowl quick and straight, let the dry, hardening pitch with nasty indentations do the work. Local hero Allan Donald, the retired quickie, said as much at the end of day one when captain Graeme Smith and coach Mickey Arthur went out to have a squint at the track. Donald said: “They’re looking for indentations. This will get harder and faster and it may suit South Africa. It’s a bit of a road at the moment, but it could become a real test of character.”

As Strauss’s wicket broke, Ntini ran to sun-soaked fans, arms raised. His 389^th wicket puts him closer to Shaun Pollock’s South African record of 421 Test victims. Not a bad morning for South Africa’s first black cricketer, who had already received a congratulatory letter from Nelson Mandela, the former President who brought peace to this nation and added colour to their sports teams in 1993.

Following Strauss’s abject departure, Pietermaritzburg-born Kevin Pietersen came out to join Cape Town-born Jonathan Trott. The only non-South African on the field? Paul Harris, born in Salisbury, Rhodesia, now known as Harare, Zimbabwe.

Pietersen got a remarkably quite welcome from the Centurion fans, who are no great lovers of the English and their adopted followers, who built a Boer Concentration Camp which devastated the local populace barely a stone-throw from this ground just over a century ago.

The lack of boos was probably down to the free-flowing booze being handed out to the gathering of about 5,000 basking beneath this harsh African sun in honour of Ntini’s success.

Trott and Pietersen did their best to handle the conditions, surviving the odd shooter but looking distinctly uncomfortable until the arrival of the very ordinary spinner Harris.

Then, after an unbelievably patient 117 balls, Trott made the mistake of thinking Harris could turn the ball. He charged down the pitch, took a huge heave allowing for spin... and the ball simply kept dead straight and caught the top of his leg stump. England were 119-3 and Trott will spend many nights thinking about the wisdom of that shot.

While England freezes and closes transport systems in five inches of snow, the brand new money-eating Guatrain rail system being built for the World Cup next year is shimmering in the heat.

And England look like their steam-powered victory bid, never likely to arrive on time, could soon be derailed by Ntini, the 32-year-old Mdingi Express.

Labels: allan donald, england tour, graeme smith, jonathan trott, makhaya ntini, paul harris, South Africa cricket

GRAEME SWANN take a bow. Rarely in the history of spin bowling have so many overs been bowled in such heat for so few. And he ended with his third five-wicket haul in Test cricket. Ignore the fact England lost Alastair Cook early in their reply, Swann is the man.

Not only did his 45 miserly overs in extreme temperatures keep England in touch with South Africa, who were all out for 418 when many were predicting a score of 500-plus. His 5-110 also ended the Bore War, which broke out around tea-time when the South African tail-enders decided to strangle the first Test.

In Perth this morning, Chris Gayle hit the fifth fastest hundred in Test history with a 70-ball whirlwind against Australia. In direct contrast, Paul Harris (38 off 89 balls) and debutant Friedel de Wet (20 off 67) barely produced an attacking shot in a ninth wicket partnership worth 37 off nearly 17 overs in a bizarre attempt to put a crowd of 9,000 to sleep all at once. In the 10 overs before tea, they scored 11. Ho-hum.

Oh for a Gayle force to blow here. But when England came in to bat, such feats looked a very distant prospect. Makhaya Ntini, winning his 100^th cap, came roaring in and had Cook dropped in the first over, right through the hands of AB De Villiers at third slip.

De Wet was less boring with the ball than the bat. His first delivery in Test cricket was a massive leg side wide in the Steve Harmison style. His second beat Andrew Strauss all ends up.

But after that dodgy start, England’s opening pair began to settle until the sixth over when, with England on 25, Cook got the slightest of edges to De Wet and wicketkeeper Mark Boucher, out for a painful 49 in earlier the day, snaffled the catch. No pesky review called for, though it was the faintest of touches... I certainly couldn’t see it.

Cook had been looking good until that point, cracking three fours and scoring 15 off 17 balls while Strauss stayed in his shell.

Cape Town-born Jonathan Trott got a couple of grumbles from the South African fans when he came out to join Strauss, but nothing like the reception Kevin Pietersen will be treated to here.

He was in trouble on 12 when spinner Harris claimed either a catch behind or an LBW which was turned down by long-suffering Australian umpire Steve Davis. The review was called for and appeared to suggest Trott was LBW but this time the decision was left in the hands of Davis, who shrugged his shoulders and gave it not out again.

That allowed Strauss (44 off 70 balls) and Trott (a drab 18 off 56) to put on an unbeaten 63 for the second wicket, pushing England to 88-1 off the 23 overs they received tonight.

Just the 330 behind. But don’t let that take the gloss of a brave performance in the field.

Jimmy Anderson may have turned the course of this game when he had the heroic Jacques Kallis, who looked like he could bat forever despite a rib injury, caught at second slip by Paul Collingwood for 120 early in the day.

But Swann’s effort was quite incredible and Onions, bowling with a calf strain, deserves a mention too for taking 3-86 and intimidating Morkel (above) and Harris. Onions said of the Morkel incident afterwards: "You do aim for the head, but you don't like to hurt anybody. That isn't my intention. I've got to show intent and aggression. And I did get him out four balls later, which was the plan I suppose."

Paul Collingwood picked up a record-equalling four catches - only Marcus Trescothick has taken as many in the outfield in an England innings – against mighty Zimbabwe in 2003.

Labels: centurion, england cricket tour, graeme swann, graham onions, jonathan trott, makhaya ntini, south africa test

IT'S all happening for Kevin Pietersen in South Africa. Boos, babies and a boisterous homecoming at Kingsmead on Friday. All he needs now is a few runs.

Labels: andrew strauss, baby, durban, jessica, jonathan trott, kevin pietersen, kingsmead, libertyx, pregnancy, south africa

SO this is rapidly becoming the Jekyll and Hyde tour. One minute England are absolute rubbish, bring 'em home, drop the lot. Then they're unbeatable, superb, give them all a knighthood.

Labels: england one-day international, jonathan trott, neal collins south africa, port elizabeth

GRAEME SMITH came perilously close to accusing England's four South African-born players of being too keen on "fancy glasses and flashy cars" before tomorrow's massive third One-Day International at Newlands.

Labels: andrew strauss, david lloyd, england world, geoffrey boycott, graeme smith, jonathan trott, kevin pietersen, matt prior, neal collins south africa

JUST three words from Stuart Broad and a buoyant England camp in Cape Town is positively bubbling. "I feel good," says the Nottinghamshire paceman - or should we say all-rounder - after a couple of weeks out struggling with a dodgy shoulder.

Labels: cape town, centurion, graeme swann, jonathan trott, newlands, stuard broad

Labels: allan lamb, andrew strauss, cape town, ian botham, jonathan trott, matt prior, newlands, robin smith, south african world cup 2010, tony greig, zola budd

IAN BOTHAM, who knows a thing or two about all-rounders, picked out Jonathan Trott’s performance in the thumping seven-wicket win over South Africa yesterday as “a revelation”

Labels: andrew strauss, cricket, jonathan trott, neal collins, Paul Collingwood, south africa, world cup

PAUL COLLINGWOOD take a bow. Two wickets and an undefeated century as he broke Alec Stewart's record of 170 England one-day international appearances - and South Africa crushed by seven wickets. What a day for the Man of the Match. Oh, and typically, a flying catch at backward point to dismiss danger man AB De Villiers for two.

Labels: andrew strauss, centurion, cricket, graeme smith, jonathan trott, one-day international, Paul Collingwood, south africa, test series